Does being relaxed when you’re trying to conceive really matter?

When people hear I run Hoopsy, a women’s health company, I get a lot of questions about ovulation windows, supplements, and pregnancy tests. Lately, the question that keeps coming up is this: “Does it actually matter how stressed I am while we’re trying to conceive, before there’s even a baby on board?”

As a solo female founder who spends a lot of time on socials, I wanted a better answer than “try to relax.” So I went digging into the research on preconception and periconception stress – the stress you experience in the months before pregnancy and around the time of conception itself. What I found was nuanced, but important.

What the science says about being relaxed when you’re trying to conceive

We already know that stress during pregnancy is linked to higher risks of preterm birth, low birth weight and later neurodevelopmental issues in children. The less‑talked‑about part is that stress in the year before conception can also play a role.

Several population‑based studies have shown that major stressful life events – things like divorce, the death or serious illness of a close relative – in the 12 months before conception are associated with:

• Increased risk of preterm birth

• Higher rates of low birth weight

• Increased infant mortality in some cohorts

One scoping review summarising dozens of studies concluded that higher maternal stress before conception and during pregnancy is associated with less favourable maternal and child health, including a greater risk of low birth weight and preterm birth. Another paper noted that early pregnancy seems to be particularly sensitive: severe stress around conception and in the first trimester has been linked with more adverse birth outcomes compared with later stress.

This doesn’t mean every stressful month damages fertility or guarantees problems – human studies are messy, and not all results are consistent. But taken together, they do suggest that your stress before you see two lines on a test is not irrelevant.

Stress and the probability of conceiving

Beyond birth outcomes, there’s also some evidence that stress around ovulation can affect how likely you are to conceive that cycle. One prospective study looking at self‑reported stress during different parts of the menstrual cycle found:

• Higher stress during the ovulatory window was associated with a lower probability of conception (about a 46% reduction in fecundability for each unit increase in stress rating during ovulation)

• Interestingly, higher stress in the luteal phase was linked with increased probability of conception, but the authors suggest this might be reverse causality – women who suspected they were pregnant were more stressed and reported that stress

Another thesis‑level analysis found that high stress during the cycle of conception was associated with reduced fecundability and higher risk of spontaneous abortion, again pointing to the periconception period as a sensitive window.

These studies aren’t perfect, and not all research finds the same patterns. But they do reinforce a simple idea: chronic high stress right when your body is trying to coordinate ovulation, implantation, and early pregnancy is not ideal.

So, does being relaxed at conception “change the baby”?

Here’s the honest version I’ve come to as a founder:

• We have stronger evidence that stress in pregnancy impacts birth outcomes and child development.

• We have growing but still mixed evidence that stress in the year before pregnancy and especially around conception affects both chances of conception and later obstetric outcomes.

• We do not have evidence that one stressful week ruins everything or that you must achieve perfect calm to have a healthy baby.

What conception‑stage studies really suggest is that your overall stress landscape – especially severe, chronic stress – matters, and that the months you spend trying to conceive are part of that landscape. They support the idea that caring for your nervous system early is a form of preconception care, alongside things like folic acid and lifestyle changes.

TTC is a stressor itself – and that’s the kicker

The tough irony is that trying to conceive is, in itself, a stressor. Cycle after cycle of hoping, tracking, timing sex, reading lines on tests, wondering if something is wrong – that’s not neutral background noise. It’s a sustained emotional load.

The periconception studies I’ve read don’t say “never feel anxious around ovulation.” What they point towards, in practical terms, is:

• If you’re under major life stress (bereavement, unstable housing, extreme financial or relationship crisis), it’s worth acknowledging that this may affect conception and pregnancy, and seeking real support wherever possible.

• If you’re in the more common bucket of “moderate, ongoing stress” from TTC itself and everyday life, then building small, consistent stress‑management habits around your cycle is a sensible, evidence‑aligned act of care.

These habits don’t have to be dramatic. They can be the low‑tech, human‑scale things that actually fit into your month. We actually put together a free ebook on how to feel more relaxed at this time.

Why I’m building “pockets of calm” into the conception journey

As a founder, I’m not here to tell anyone to meditate their way to a baby. But reading all this research did change how I think about preconception support and being relaxed when you’re trying to conceive.

On the clinical side, I see relaxation and mind–body interventions – progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, breathing exercises, CBT‑based tools – showing benefits in reducing stress and sometimes improving pregnancy outcomes. On the human side, I see women overwhelmed by notifications, fertility apps and the feeling of being constantly “tracked.”

Hoopsy’s plastic‑free pregnancy tests tackle the environmental anxiety side of all this; they’re my way of letting people TTC without filling their bin with plastic. Our Fertility Snail Mail grew out of the conception‑stage stress question.

I wanted something that:

• Arrives before or around conception, not only after a positive test.

• Feels like a friend checking in, not an app measuring you.

• Offers tiny, gentle prompts to create those “pockets of calm” in the exact window where stress may be most likely to spike.

So each month, we send a TTC‑friendly letter, an affirmation card, and a simple grounding prompt to your physical mailbox. It’s deliberately slow, offline and non‑performative. You don’t have to log anything or hit a streak. You just get a reminder – in real paper – that your emotional state matters too, and that you deserve care at the conception stage, not just once there’s a bump.

I’m not claiming our letters change cortisol curves or guarantee full‑term births; the science isn’t that simple, and I’d never oversell it. But I am saying that if conception‑stage stress is real (and the evidence suggests it is), then building rituals of support in that window is absolutely worth doing.

If you’re in the conception phase right now

If you’re trying to conceive and feeling that specific blend of hope, pressure and “I’m so tired of thinking about my cycle,” I see you. You don’t need to be perfectly calm, and you’re not failing if you have stressed, tear‑streaked days.

You are allowed to put things in place that make conception a little gentler on your nervous system – whether that’s therapy, yoga, structured relaxation, boundaries at work, or something as simple as a letter that shows up to say “you’re not alone.”

If you’d like one of those quieter touchpoints in your month, you can read more about my fertility Snail Mail and see if it feels like the kind of support you’d actually look forward to opening.

Trying to conceive is already enough of a journey. You deserve conception‑stage care that honours both the science and your humanity.