We know that trying to conceive can affect your sex life, especially when you’ve been trying for a while. Our amazing Hoopsy Community sexpert Anna Charged from Happy Mash sex toys, shares some tips for keeping your sex life spicy whilst trying to conceive. Here’s her advice:
Hetero couples who are trying to conceive can often find that their sex life becomes less spicy and a little more… mayonnaise? The focus on timing intercourse during the vulva-owner’s fertile window can take the hot sauce out of sex and make it feel too mechanical. And no one wants to run out of juice when their pistons should be well and truly greased up and ready to go!
So it’s super important for couples to keep the excitement alive in their sex lives during this time. And what’s more, it can also help to reduce stress and actually increase the chances of conception.
Here are some of my top tips for keeping the excitement alive while trying to conceive.
1. Don’t Focus Solely on the Fertile Window
While timing intercourse during the fertile window is important, it’s also key to have sex at other times during your menstrual cycle. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety around trying to conceive and make sex more enjoyable. It can also increase the chances of conception, as sperm can live in the female reproductive tract for up to five days. So give them a little extra party time in there!
2. Try New Positions and Techniques
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, and look, I get it. We can’t always orchestrate our sex life like the porn industry does. But trying new positions and techniques can help to keep sex exciting and enjoyable. And it’s supposed to be fun! So if ‘fun’ morphs into ‘funny’, then who cares?! You’ve tried something new, and if it didn’t work, then at least your sesh has been different to yesterday’s… and the day before’s.
Experimenting with different positions can also help to increase pleasure for both you and your partner and can also help to increase the chances of conception by allowing sperm to reach the cervix more easily.
Techniques such as edging, where one partner brings the other close to orgasm and then backs off, can also help to increase pleasure and excitement. Communication is key here!
3. Use Sex Toys
Well it seems like an easy sell for me, as the owner of the happymash brand, but sex toys can be a great way to change up your sex life and start to focus more on foreplay – it doesn’t have to be all ‘in and out’. Well, maybe just a little at the end!
Vibrators are so versatile for both male and female pleasure, and there are so many amazing and innovative vibes on the market nowadays to help any beginner or seasoned professional. Some couples may also find that using sex toys can help to increase the chances of conception by providing deeper penetration and helping to deliver sperm to the cervix by way of the female orgasm.
4. Take the Focus Off Conception
While trying to conceive, forget about the end result! Enjoying your body, your partner’s body and pleasure, in general, is the important and unique thing about your intimate relationship. Better connection and shared pleasure will also help reduce stress and worry at a time which can often be wrought with anxiety and disappointment. And remember, stress can interfere with ovulation and fertility!
It’s easier said than done, I know, I’ve been there. But taking your eye off the fertility game, and sliding into the pleasure realm, is sooooo much better!
5. Communicate Openly With Your Partner
Communication is key when it comes to maintaining a healthy and exciting sex life. If you’re trying to conceive, make sure you feel you can talk openly and honestly about both you and their sexual desires, fantasies and sexual preferences.
This can help to increase intimacy and build trust, which can lead to a more fulfilling sex life in the future. This will also give you opportunities to discuss any concerns or anxieties you may have about trying to conceive – perhaps they’re feeling the same? You’re a team, and you’re in this together! And teamwork will be all the more important once your bub arrives. So enjoy this fun bit before the shit escapes the nappy.
6. Take Care of Your Overall Health
Taking care of your overall health can help to improve your sexual sense of self and increase your chances of conceiving.
Do you masturbate? Make some alone time for yourself and buy yourself a new vibrator. Vulva-owners who masturbate regularly have higher libido levels, better body confidence, and can orgasm more easily during intercourse. It’s a win-win baby!
But this also includes eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise and getting enough sleep. Reducing stress through practices such as meditation or yoga can also help to improve sexual function and increase fertility.
Or if not, light a f*cking candle and chill out from time to time – life should not be too busy to take a moment to yourself! And babe, you’re so worth it!
In conclusion, if you’re trying to conceive and want to keep (or rekindle) the spice in your sex life, focus on pleasure and intimacy, experiment with new positions and techniques and use sex toys -buy a new one for fun, just because!
Take the focus off conception, communicate openly with your partner and take care of your overall health. By prioritising both you and your partner’s pleasure, you can absolutely reduce stress and anxiety and increase the chances of conception.
Who Wrote This?
Anna Charged Mini Bio
‘Anna Charged’ is the founder of the sex toy brand happymash, and uses her policing and trauma-informed experience to encourage women and vulva owners to speak up, love their bodies and experience pleasure, no matter what age or stage of life they are at. Her aim is to close the orgasm gap, one vibe at a time.