Love it or hate it, valentines day is once again upon us. For any woman who has been trying to conceive for a while, it turns out it could be a day full of dread and worry. Here at Hoopsy, we carried out a survey to find out more about how women who are trying to conceive are feeling about the international day of love and how they plan to spice up sex in honour of St Valentines Day!
Why women trying to conceive dread Valentine’s Day
Our survey revealed that a considerable 37% of young women between 18 and 24 that have been trying to conceive for over a year are dreading valentines because it means they feel they have to have sex…again!
33% of women in the same age range said they would only be having sex on February 14th if it falls in their fertile window or when they are ovulating, and there is a chance the deed could result in a long-awaited pregnancy.
By contrast, an impressive 66% of ladies between 36 and 45 stated they would be having sex on valentines day regardless of whether they are ovulating.
How to spice things up on Valentine’s day
Looking for some inspiration on how to get your and your partner’s motors running on Valentine’s? Our survey also revealed that these are the top ten activities women are likely to do to spice up their sex life:
Cook a nice romantic meal
Buy each other gifts (the naughtier, the better!)
Use a sex toy
Go out for a romantic and probably expensive meal
Give an erotic massage
Play a sex game
Have sex somewhere new
Buy some costumes to wear
Go on a last-minute trip
Hot tips for ladies trying to conceive from our resident sexpert
Our resident “sexpert”, Anna Charged, runs Sex Toy Brand Happymash, said: “So that you and your partner don’t emotionally burn out on the fertility rollercoaster, focus on the present, the fun and the pleasure involved in the process. All too often, couples focus on the end result – a baby. But the truth is, a baby is just the beginning of a lifelong journey between you and your partner. Better to set strong foundations now before the nappy hits the fan.
“Plan things in the near future, don’t focus on whether or not you will be pregnant, live for the here and now and enjoy life together rather than striving for the future. Equally, your partner should be right alongside you and supporting you. Imagine your life without your partner – it should be unthinkable. And if not, time to think again.” Here are Anna’s top tips for spicing up your sex life if you’re TTC:
Get to know your body and what gives you the most pleasure. Vulva owners who masturbate and have higher reported libido can become lubricated more quickly during sex, and have better and stronger orgasms.
Focus more on foreplay
When TTC, we all know the aim of the game for heterosexual couples is for sperm to enter the egg. But that’s the finale. What about the first act? Use toys, mutual masturbation, and tease each other – it will make for a more intense and connected climax – for both of you!
There’s nothing like a good dose of thrush to kill the eroticism. Avoid uncomfortable friction by using lubricant every time. Make sure it’s water-based and petrochemical, glycerine, and paraben free. Penis owners love it too!
Try something new while trying to conceive
It really doesn’t matter what it is, but do something to change things up. Lingerie? Sure! Weekend away? Role play? Risqué outdoors sex? (obviously, don’t break the law!) But the list is endless. It will make ‘sex every night’ fun again, not performative.
Buy a new sex toy
Whether it’s for you alone or something to use or with your partner, introducing a new and different toy is like buying a shiny new tool for your pleasure toolbox. And if it doesn’t work as well as you’d like? Well, you’ve had fun and a few giggles in the process.
If you are dreading valentines day, it’s important to remember it’s just one day, and you are certainly not alone in feeling that way. If you feel up to sex, go for it and maybe incorporate some of Anna’s tips to spice things up to make it a little bit more special. If having sex is the last thing on your mind, that’s ok too. Share a romantic meal with your partner or a friend, cuddle up with a romantic movie, reconnect or even get out for a walk or run to boost your mood.
Are you currently trying to conceive and wishing you had someone to talk to? We get it. That’s why Hoopsy has created the new fertility community, which opens this week. Join the waitlist here and join a community of women just like you for advice, friendly and supportive discussions, and a whole lot more.